Description
a remark which I actually formulate quite often: from a scientific point of view you have a tendency to mix opinions and facts which makes the text too persuasive; in a way it also makes it difficult for the reader to distinguish when it is only your point of view and where you refer to something objective/intersubjective; in some contexts being persuasive helps, but in other it can undermine your credibility (and definitely it is the case of scientific context – so consider taking it into account when writing your dissertation); -> the previous remark is closely related to the following reservation: there are no references to sources of data / facts / opinions in the essay; obviously, I noticed the section with bibliography, but there are many facts not covered by the positions listed in the bibliography which require authentication; -> and another common remark: I would recommend to pay more attention to how you structure your essays; in general obviously I got the point; the (little) problem is that the reader is not being lead through your thinking / reasoning / argumentation as smoothly as he/she could be – you could expose your way of thinking better (technically speaking, maybe using subheadings would help?); I would then suggest to make it even more explicit what is your thesis, what are the arguments, what is the structure and role of the examples you make use of; -Please follow the above mentioned comments. This was the comment i had received before